6 Dragons Kung Fu Style

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Self defense: 10 correct attitudes during a quarrel - Article image

Self defense: 10 correct attitudes during a quarrel

The only warrior able to subdue the opponent without even having to touch him is the one who uses the intelligence.

Continuing the speech of the first level personal defense (the most "bland"), let's review some tips about the right attitude to keep in order to avoid a common lite in a physical confrontation.

So let's see what is right to remember in a self-defense situation:
  • First, we must forget our pride, we have nothing to demonstrate to those who are in front of us, nor to those who are with us (known or unknown they are); we must prove to ourselves that we are good and strong enough to control our instincts (fear, wariness, etc.)
  • The calm as wrath is contagious, we have to maintain a quiet, transparent but determined attitude; let's close a little our eyes, let's straighten our back (without widening shoulders) and let's use a calm gesture (descriptive, gentle but not invading the space of others); at the same time, we can use our hands to hire one of the undeclared defensive mobile guards of the 6DKF (anonymously protecting eyes, mouth and nose)
  • We have to use clear syntactic constructs and simple words; we must adopt a tone of voice peaceful, slow and at the same time assertive (with ample pauses); we have to modulate the height of the voice with slight volume changes to focus on what is most important (without being threatening)
  • Anger fastly decrease; we must completely slow down our pace (speed of speech, movement, etc.); in this way we will gain time and give opportunity to our "opponent" to lose decision and to reflect on what he is doing (as long as it is only fury to move his actions)
  • We must not show any sensation / emotion; no fear (eg. hesitations), no compassion (eg. paternalistic attitudes), no resentment (eg. verbal aggression), no fun (eg. desire to fight); nothing, we must be impenetrable and aseptic as the diamond
  • Last but not list, let's try (if possible) to appear as an integral part of the context to which our aggressor belongs, let's identify with him and with his point of view; We do not try to impose ourselves or our way of seeing things but rather choose to show "closeness" (if not even "membership")
The speech:
  • Who speaks does not fight; until the end of the danger we never have to cease to oppose dialogue to aggressions; let's ask for motivations / explanations, let's compose simple questions to which it is unconsciously imperative to answer
  • We must demonstrate not to accept but to understand what drives our "adversary" to behave in this way; we need to connect his motivations to ours but without pretending to determine who is right and who is wrong
  • We can gently invite our interlocutor to lower the tones, asking for example why he feels the need to shout, to be so agitated (etc.); we must force him to describe his point of view keeping actively working his brain
All these details in a stress situation are difficult to handle and put into practice but let's focus on the fact that, in the worst case, we will not have a second chance to do the right steps.

The time for preparation is now, the one for discipline is every day, the one for concentration will be the self defense moment.

In the next article we will see some examples of advanced psychological techniques.
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Shi Yan Ming: real master - Article image

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A tribute to Shi Yan Ming, a real master.

Shaolin monk of the 34th generation.
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Self Defense: 10 Things to avoid in a quarrel - Article image

Self Defense: 10 Things to avoid in a quarrel

As we have stated, to deal with the first level of self-defense situation (the one that does not involve the use of force) it is important to prepare ourselves mentally.

Knowing in advance how to react in the right way, we will have a great help in controlling the inevitable emotional stess of the moment.

In a dispute situation we have just begun we must immediately block the escalation that could outcome to harmful results (for us and for others) of violence. So here's 10 things we should at all costs avoid:
  • Shorten the distances (nose to nose, with open shoulders, chin up, etc.); this way we bring the fight right away on a physical plane where it will be speed, reflexes and luck to decide our fate
  • Touch, indicate or worse shove / hit our "adversary"; it means in effect to start a clash that we do not know how it will end (also from the legal point of view)
  • Insulting, raising voice, provoking, mocking, humiliating, producing damage to property or persons; it means breaking an already precarious balance and give our "adversary" a justification to attack
  • Accusing the verbal jabs (insults, threats, etc.); who we face should not expect to have chances to prevail over us, neither physically nor verbally, we should not react but even not succumb (we can read the article "Become the absolute zero")
  • Threat to be armed, to be skilled fighters, dangerous people (etc.); it does not work, it claims a confrontation and makes it clear that we are afraid, who can fight and is willing to, does not reveals it (we'll discuss this again in the next article)
  • Give imperatives orders; an aggresor that is angry with us will never do what we directly say, even if he has doubts about being able to prevail (in the next article we will see how to play in our favor this mechanism)
  • Move quickly, shake our arms with big movements (or worse at eye level), showing nervousness and / or talk faster; for an angry mind everything that moves faster, stronger and near is a threat (fast means violent)
  • Look intensely into the "adversary" eyes for more than a few seconds; the look is for many like a finger pointing, an angry look like a sword pointed, in other words an unbearable threat
  • Let us not to be taken by anger, fear, panic or excessive confidence; let's try to gain the right benefit from this information we are gathering, and let's use them (along with martial practice) to increase our awareness
  • Wasting time thinking to things like: "why it happen to me?", "What do I do now? I am not ready!", "Why here?", "Why now?" (etc.); useless, probably we were not careful enough but now it is not important, the danger is here, we must be lucid to dialogue and determined to (possibly) fight with all our resources
In the next article we'll see what is right to do when you are in a self defense situation.
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